Music wasn’t something I really grew up with in my family. My mother listened to the occasional record of Dire Straits or Dr Hook on the very odd occasion, although the house was mainly filled with stock exchange reports and the ABC news. I distinctly remember the obligatory reprimand to please “be quiet”, so Dad didn’t lose his cruet if I happened to breath too loudly, or give me a swift clip around the ears.
I think I acquired a little transistor radio sometime in primary school and man, that was a welcome distraction to my confused and isolated inner world. I would listen to the radio very quietly at night in bed, and when I took off down to the beach on my own. It was truly a joyous treat for my senses. I got a tape recorder somewhere around the age of fourteen, but never really had many cassettes. My exposure to music was mainly main stream radio and some random odds and ends I could get my hands on. One of them was a John English tape a lady gave me because her daughter was a groupie for the band. However, it was something. I wasn’t allowed to watch Countdown or Rage because my family just didn’t value music.
In my twenties, I moved to Sydney from regional NSW to undertake my nursing studies, and it was there, I was introduced to heavy metal, punk, grunge and a wide range of genre’s. This was a life changing experience for me in many ways, but mainly because it gave me an outlet for all the unwanted and repressed emotions I had never expressed. And because my innocent view of the world was about to get blown to smithereens. In a good way.
Up until then, I lived quite a sheltered, country lifestyle in northern NSW, and was not at all expecting the freedom, variety and culture the big smoke would bring. The live music scene in the early 90’s was something I remember with great fondness and gratitude. During that time, I saw many live gigs at the Sydney Entertainment Centre, The Hordern Pavilion, Kings Cross and plenty of pubs in the Eastern suburbs. I revelled in the electric energy of the mosh pit, the power of the subs, punching out their hectic bass frequencies, which reverberated throughout my entire being, and moved me to the core. Literally like nothing I had ever experienced.
Rocking out to metal, punk and rock over the years has been a life saver for my mental health and wellbeing. One of my favourite bands of all time is Iron Maiden. Their epic songs, dynamic crescendos, and the powerful vocals of Bruce Dickenson, has made them a band that has influenced me greatly over the years. Their music has helped me feel, process and transform my anger, shame and rage into a productive energy force, which I’ve used to propel myself forward, face challenges and develop resilience on my path. I must admit, their iconic mascot Eddie the Head kind of always freaked me out, having never been a fan of zombies or horror.
Over the years, I have explored a great deal of music genres and have quite an eclectic taste in music these days. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that as I grow and mature, and move further along my healing and healed journey, my flavour of music has become a lot quieter and more peaceful. Depending on my mood, emotional landscape, and activity, I generally listen to more chilled tunes, from gentle feminine vocals, relaxation music, heartland rock, instrumentals, sacred mantras and chants.
I am definitely a sensory seeker and embodied individual, and what’s intriguing, is that actually playing instruments, is something that has come to me quite by accident, and has definitely had a profound impact on my energy centres, nervous system and emotions. I have never considered myself musically minded, although I am coming to appreciate how valuable this gift of making sound is becoming and feel excited moving forward in a more direct and deliberate intention, to bring the transformative and unifying effect of sound therapy to others. And also experimenting with my own creative expression through sound and resonance. I intend on sharing sound with as I evolve and grow. I am deeply grateful and aware of the importance of silence in relation to sound, for without it, nothing would make sense. To me, silence is the quintessential sound! That place I come home to in order to integrate, rest and listen to my inner truth and knowing. Thank you, source, for the gift of silence and for the gift of my senses.
The fact that I have been led to study sound therapy, back in my home town, approximately twelve months to the day since purchasing my shamanic frame drum, and after travelling half way around Australia, to me, is testament to the provisional and protective powers of the universe. The synchronistic nature of consciousness, and the ability of us humans to co-create with the universe. It’s nothing short of miraculous. Becoming aware of this innate ability, has transformed my life. The power of feminine wisdom has enabled me to bring about great change in my life. As I continue to intend the future, trust my intuition above my logical mind, and stay detached from the outcome, I patiently wait for the seeds I have sown, to grow and mature in divine timing.
I actually had three job offers on arriving home although my intuition continued to hold me back from accepting any of them, and something in my knowing was whispering to me to just wait and honour my need for stillness and rest at that time. Currently, I feel super pumped and exhilarated moving forward in this new and exciting year of growth and change.
Music truly moves me in a profound and meaningful way, and I’m sure grateful to musicians worldwide for sharing their creative process, that I get to be moved and influenced through their creative energy. May I be a catalyst for growth and change in my own unique and wacky way!
Peace, Love and Mung Beans ……….. Rock On!