Life is such a beautiful gift, and one that I am grateful for every morning. When my consciousness awakens and sweet birdsong reaches my ears, and the warmth of my husband’s body is right there beside me. This is the perfect time to appreciate the little things I value most, and that truly matter, despite it all.
Life however, is a delicate balance of polarity, and when circumstances are continually ebbing rather than flowing, it can become quite a struggle to stay focused, positive and productive. Especially when I find myself halfway down the proverbial S-bend of crapola out of nowhere, and chaos and drama just keep jumping out at me, like scary figures in a dark dingey alley. I do my best to duck, weave and commando roll out of harm’s way, however I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and that window of tolerance is a merely a sliver.
My patience is running out, and I’m finding myself increasingly irritable and unreasonable without knowing it. I begin to wonder what the lesson is in all this chaos and upheaval, as I grumble at the universe for having such a sick sense of humour. I know deep down, that this too shall pass, although at this stage, I’m dragging my butt out of bed every day, and trying to keep it all together for the betterment of all concerned. I am aware that accepting the down times, is indeed part of the ride, so I hang on, in the hope that things begin to improve.
I know that resisting will only prolong the discomfort, but somehow, I just can’t get a handle on my increasingly frayed emotions and quickly vanishing resolve. I’m acutely aware of my need to take a step back, create some space, and find the time to recommence my self-care routine, which went overboard somewhere in the past couple of months. I know that unless I breathe, get some clarity and recentre myself, I will slowly descend down into the depths and lose my emotional control, which definitely does not serve me, or anyone else in close proximity. I need to consciously surrender, and now!
When I reach this awareness, my first priority once again becomes self-care, and I begin to implement those invaluable daily routines and rituals that somehow got lost when the storm was in full force. Things like meditation, journaling and mindfulness to name but a few. In a perfect world, this is the time my daily practices should be prioritised, and are ultimately what buffer me from the impact of such unexpected life events. However, I am human after all, and a woman to boot, and nurturing the ones I love is as instinctual, as it is socially embedded. If I’m not careful, others can become my primary focus, which is both unhealthy and self-defeating. Once I make the decision to surrender, and consciously turn my focus within, I can once again come home to myself and to spirit, and very quickly, inner peace returns. I am then able to hold on with patience, and trust that everything is happening in divine timing. Slowly, I begin to flow with life again, and a state of grace returns. Sometimes, a change of perspective, and a little conscious awareness is all it takes to suddenly shift and realign, and the sun begins to shine once more.
A big component of self-care is acknowledging and embracing emotions shamelessly. Emotional honesty begins with oneself and paves the way for expressing one’s truth to others in a way that is clear, constructive and appropriate. Giving voice to difficult, unpleasant and often intense emotions, such as sadness, fear, grief and anger is often difficult. When we can embrace their value as true messengers, we learn to accept them, with as much compassion and understanding as the rest of our emotional landscape. For they all hold true value, purpose and meaning.
As I move further along my life journey, I get more seasoned at accepting and facing adversity, and God knows, I’ve had my fair share of white squall activity. The kind that appears out of know where and hits you from left of centre, leaving you stunned and dazed. Those significant challenges however, have been my biggest opportunities to learn adaptability, foster strength and to become courageous in the face of fear. Being determined to rise above whatever circumstances show up, and to learn and grow through the process, is my commitment to living life in the present moment. Let’s face it, becoming resilient doesn’t happen sitting on the lounge in your pretty pink slippers.
Which brings me to the power of gratitude. Being grateful is the kind of conscious act that automatically changes my focus from lack and scarcity, to one of hope and thankfulness in the present moment. Showing my appreciation for the things that are going right, which might not seem like much at the time, though ultimately are those tiny gold nuggets of beauty, that hold everything else together. Like a loving embrace, a home cooked meal or a hot shower at the end of the day. I can usually find something to be grateful for, even in even the darkest, dankest set of circumstances. Light can penetrate the darkness through one small act of gratitude.
Like the opposite and complimentary, shady and sunny sides of the yin and yang, it is the nature of life to ebb and flow. It is the changing of the seasons, the transition from night to day, and that balance of opposites, that give rise to one other, and ultimately make life dynamic and intriguing. Without these opposing forces, life would be quite monotonous, void of personal growth and lacking in appreciation.
Life’s duality is indeed necessary, in order to fully experience the richness of our humanity, and to really appreciate the good times, after enduring the bad ones.