Creativity for Catharsis

Process Over Outcome = Healing

Creativity is something I have always enjoyed very much, and has been embedded deep within my being since childhood. As a little girl, I remember playing with my dolls and fashioning little outfits for them with scraps of material, needle and thread. I loved making cards for loved ones, and drawing with bright colours. This was all acceptable for a young child at play.

Sadly though, I was denied the privilege of studying art at school and beyond, and for a long time, felt deeply ashamed of my attempts at creativity. Somewhere along the way, I learnt that art was an attempt to avoid real work, that it wasn’t a worthwhile pursuit and certainly would not pay the bills. As I grew, I begun to believe that I was not adequately qualified to express myself properly, because I did not receive a formal education in the arts, nor did I have foundational skills.

In my adulthood however, I persevered with my childlike creative endeavours and continued to fumble my way through authentic creative expression, because for me, it’s been the most helpful, transformative and cathartic tool for processing difficult emotions, alleviating past trauma, fostering self-mastery and finding inner calm. I have recently found another intuitive, creative and nurturing outlet in the sound healing space, although that is another story.

Given my once distorted self-image, harsh inner critic, and deeply wounded inner child, I have worked incredibly hard to maintain a steady focus on the actual process of creating, rather than on the outcome. These days, I very much enjoy getting lost in creative flow, with the end result mattering far less, than the vulnerability it took to reveal what needed expressing. Embracing this fundamental innate human desire to create, free from judgement and expectation, is incredibly powerful.

Last year, I found myself in a beautiful old colonial town in South West Victoria, called Warrnambool. I arrived there after road tripping The Great Ocean Road, home of The Twelve Apostles. I felt called to this place and spent a few months just exploring the stunning coastline in deep presence, reflection and contemplation. I was able to come to a place of stillness, ease and grace within, and every precious moment felt significant and wondrous. It was one of the most serene, surreal and grace filled times of my life, and I’m extremely grateful for it.

I was enjoying my photography, drawing and journaling throughout that time, and was also fortunate enough to undertake a series of creative writing workshops at the local library. I found them hugely inspiring and enjoyable, and sometime in the weeks after, I found myself writing a lot of poetry, my kind of poetry. From there, my writing begun to take on a life of its own. Without effort, and to my dismay, many poignant, memorable and traumatic moments of my life, begun pouring forth onto the pages. Along with lessons learnt, insights, observations and personal musings. There they were, my most honest, heartfelt and emotional truths in their purest, raw and subjective form. The good, the bad and the ugly.

It was all very unexpected and emotionally exhausting in contrast to the peaceful time prior, and I found myself requiring professional support in order to process it all. It was the last thing I was expecting since finally realising my dreams, and coming home to myself after a lifetime of striving and surviving. I concluded it was needed for healing on a deeper level. Eventually, all the words dried up, and I decided to format a little book, and had it printed, along with a book of photography from that special time on my Wackywanderbus adventure. I felt proud of my creative accomplishments and believed I was once again ready to move onto the next chapter of my life.

Six months later, after attending a leadership workshop and studying sound healing, I finally found the courage to brave the internet, face my fears and create a Substack account. I had planned to share about the things that excited me most, like feminine energy, manifestation, spirituality, nature and the mystical universe. I felt far from ready to share my photography, writing and drawings, although I knew it was now or never. I just wanted to give myself a creative space to share my perspective and to record the exciting, positive and productive achievements of recent times, that had lead me to this moment, and that made me feel successful, purposeful, fulfilled and confident in my life today.

After my first few posts, I began feeling an overwhelming pull to share parts of my humble memoir, and begun posting my personal unorthodox poetry onto the feed. My mind was in a state of dissonance as I grappled with mixed feelings about sharing aspects of my story that were disturbing, ugly, sad and in the past. I am generally an optimistic person who values living in the present moment and celebrates life for all its magic and wonder. My belief was that if I put “negative” energy out into the ether, I would attract negative energy back, and I wanted my message to be one of positivity, hope, peace, and love.

Eventually though, the universe helped me realise that this content wasn’t “negative” at all, it was my truth. It was real, and it was me! It was the voice of a little girl, a teenager, and a woman. These were disempowered voices, often silenced through fear, shame, manipulation, minimisation, power and control. These lost voices needed a space in the present, to be seen, heard and witnessed. Finally, they were lovingly surrendered to the universe and transmuted into freedom, liberation and empowerment.

The creative process has indeed, been a deeply beneficial, nurturing and cathartic part of my awakening, becoming and healing journey. I am incredibly grateful to have been able to discover my unique creative expression and have allowed myself the grace and acceptance to be imperfectly human.

May we all find a way forward to comfort, peace and wholeness, through the process of creating something deeply unique and authentic.

Thank you for reading.